And David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, rwho chose me above your father and above all his house, to appoint me as prince1 over Israel, the people of the Lord—and I will celebrate before the Lord. 2 Samuel 6:21Note*: (No this does not mean I am going to wear a loin cloth and dance in the streets).
Often we are doing a lot of starts and stops in life. We hit a bump in the road and we swear everything is going down in a blaze of Glory! I know. I am one of those who does that.
Its scary going through life. Its scary being thrown into a new mix or as of late knowing what has been routine is coming to an end. For Months I was screaming to God and anyone I could hold hostage long enough ..”I miss my life! I want it back!… and obscenity after obscenity followed. Oh I was angry angry beyond belief and yes really beyond knowing what to believe for real. What was truth? What was a lie? What was just pure fiction? I didn’t know.
Today I know a little more. but only by Gods Grace and Mercy. Yes I wanted my own will my own picture perfect of things to work out the strangest fantasy of how everything would be all right when people would try to sit and tell me. When those things didnt appear how my will said they should… aww dang it!
Today its different I know I am going to be going through lots of changes. Things are not going to be how I pictured them. I finally feel a release of hatred and bitterness. I have learned a lot in letting go of physical things the emotional things finally get let go of too. You finally realize everyone has choices to make. Some that seem sad for me may be the blessing I need to move forward enough to change things inside me and allow myself to be changed.
Tonight was awesome getting to spend time with friends I haven’t been able to see in weeks.Sharing my letting go. hearing others seeing life unfold for others. Wow, the fallacies I believed and seeing how everyone is somewhat fragile and the importance of handling every relationship with care. Most of the time, easier said, than done! Let me tell you, I am no picnic either all down in the mully-grubbs and cursing everything in sight!
I was also blessed by God and a sweet couple my shoes fell apart, and I got a brand new pair of kicks and some sandals what an awesome thing . This friend and I were also jamming to christian music on the way back home oh and that was the other thing being blessed by being picked up and taken home. I loved it.
The things I love about my group of friends is even at my worst they said keep coming back and previous to having friends the only place I ever heard that was at 12 step meetings….I remember even then I used to think , Yeah, Right?! Are you nuts?
But finally, back to scripture. I will celebrate before the Lord!
Yo Peace out!