Facebook is really awesome. It has helped and helping make more new connections constantly
I really like the option of how to select my fonts and how I want to display pictures. If I was in computer programming I bet I could work around it. But why? I am not forcing you to read my blog.
What I am doing, is forcing myself to concentrate on writing. The program of news media on Facebook is a sore spot most of the time. It makes most people including myself, more reactive than just taking it with a grain of salt. Now I have on journalist I enjoy on Facebook will follow him and support him in any way I can probably until I take my last breath on this earth.
I need socializing online to be healthy for me and I don’t have to make my socializing online the way a social media tries play games with people’s heads. I will still reply to other peoples post but I can take a step back and choose my words carefully and hopefully a bit kinder than in recent past.
This is what works for me and helps me be healthier. So, let’s keep on communicating.
So today was a very productive day just getting ordinary things like laundry done.
Baked a pineapple upside down cake for a roommates birthday he enjoyed it. I got some errands done, spent time with a closed mouth friend, and also a professional.
Now nearing the end of another day I got a text from a sister recently connected with in the last year. She plans on coming in 2015. This is my thing to hold onto in Gods promises. I have been weary and rundown and spent emotionally. I keep getting back up and moving forward.
This morning, I felt dissociative. The whole day just kept getting weirder by the moment. I feel hopeful and that things are really working out for my good regardless of any other feelings.
Thank you God for seeing me through another day. Thank you for satisfying my desires, giving me hope and life to the fullest. Thank you God for making us fit exactly where we are in this moment.
<The following poem is about a true fact of my hiding place as a child>
Sunny Days On The Bluff s
Going to the bluffs was my secret place.
On sunny days were the best and if it was rough dusk was okay too.
I often sat there hoping for a miracle while even inside I was blue.
I asked what was it I could do to be good. For, I really had no clue.
I sat in tears and sometimes laughed as I saw you make the skies.
I saw so many rainbows back then and believed in an instant all my
scars you alone could heal.
Many times I believed you would make it all okay.
Sometimes, I still have to pray.
Though it’s been harder now and sometimes I look back and wonder where
You were? I guess now you wonder where I might be? Of course with me you see.
It was sunny days on the bluff. Remember? I sometimes danced, sang and played.
Songs in my heart you’d give, while others if they heard would just laugh.
I ran so far away, twenty miles in my little red wagon the day I got mad.
I was mad because you couldn’t save me from the pain I felt.
I was mad because I knew most of my life only made you sad.
It was sunny days on the bluff and when I needed you and cried, I think you wept too.
The rain must have been your tears because when the drop fell they were warm.
No one could hurt me; No one knew what I knew on sunny days on the bluffs.
Written By Michael RadinsSunny Days 4-13-2004
Jeremiah 29:10-11English Standard Version (ESV)
10 “For thus says the Lord: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Relationships are formed between people. It takes work. Even in family relationships have to be built. You don’t just get to have family relationships handed to you its building block material. Its done as a group and one on one. But relationships are like plants they need watering. If you ignore them they start to wilt dry up and die.
My eyes are being opened wider each day. I have to realize in a lot of relationships I have not fought hard enough. Now a lot of people want that one and only relationship. But how can you have it if you don’t know what to look for. In my case I know what it looks like from knowing whats healthy and unhealthy in my family… Some things I may not agree with, but really who am I to judge? I get to share with others and I dont have to add what I dont like , just be respectful to all.
More and More I am learning I dont have to respond to every comment or comment on every topic. You live and learn you get to pass on and others pass on to you what they have gleaned. I hope to water more relationships from this point forward.
Now for the bitter-sweet. A young woman passed on this weekend from a rare cancer she was free from almost two years. She finished Her race in this life strong. her belief in God strong and undeniable. She left this earth without regret and now has entered into rest.
I am grateful for her because she could share in such a way and never shove it down your throat but stand for what she believed and what received from God which I think is the only way to be prepared for your trip from this Earth. No More fighting, even in death she won because She Loved Her Lord.
So Friday was a regular Nurse Visit Day. I am still healing very slowly so, it doesn’t look like my camping is going to happen. It makes me sad. I was able to see the difference with Prisma a wound healing agent that big pharma put 10- 15 k on for a value. My insurance doesn’t cover it. I am not sitting on 50 k either so we use plain old collagen which helps but seems its only making it to a plateau.
My nurse though is pointing out the fact of color returning and inflammation gone down incredibly. I am looking better I just wish I felt better. I am not giving up.
I did get time with my therapist today and everyone should thank God for that mostly I should. I got opportunities to laugh at myself and the silent wars going on inside my head maybe fancied or they could be real. I don’t have to give them free rent in my head any longer and this is a point where I can resume as if nothing is wrong. However, should you find it necessary to tell me whats wrong with me in a private message or openly I consider it an opportunity to laugh one more time.